Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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