do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
