dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
