Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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