Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
