I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
