omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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