i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
