things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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