True but thats because hes a fetus.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
