Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
