just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
