At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
