Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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