Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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