he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
