Can i not drive my cunt home
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
