He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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