She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
