so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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