Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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