she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
