this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This is the prime rib incident all over again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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