I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My feet surprised me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
