was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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