Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
