Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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