My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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