The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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