I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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