BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
