ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
