It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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