Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
