You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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