The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
