I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
