so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
