There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
