ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
