mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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