I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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