I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
