What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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