my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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