NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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