dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
