so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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