Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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