whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
