put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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