Me. At least after what I've been through.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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