ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
