I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
